“I’m just wondering and wondering and wondering, when will my life begin?”

-Rapunzel

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Hello there. 🙂 So I’ve been thinking more about Rapunzel-chronic-illness comparisons, after my sister’s observation a few days ago. And something that came to mind is the line above from one of the songs in the Disney movie, Rapunzel.

“I’m just wondering and wondering and wondering, when will my life begin?”

You see, sometimes it can feel like we are stuck in a detour in our sickness, or whatever trial we are in in life, and that we are just waiting until we can get out of it so that our real life can begin again. We are just waiting for the detour to be over so that we can get on the real road again and resume our life. It’s all about pushing through and being done with it all.

And I want to be done with it all more than anyone! I am so tired of all of this. I so desperately just want to be okay. And that is fine. It is healthy to remember that there will be an end to the pain and suffering. It is totally okay to hope for healing. I mean, I said this very thing in one of my last posts. It is easy, however, to get so focused on that, that we lose sight of the fact that this, right here, right now, in all the chaos and sickness, is life too. God planned for us to be right here, in this moment. Will we spend life right now just striving to get to the next phase, the next adventure and forget about now?

“Wherever you are, be all there.” -Jim Elliot

Striving for health is a GOOD THING! But so is living life now.

A few days ago I changed my profile picture for all of my accounts and such, email, etc. Finally! It was somewhat of an old picture, that I had had for a few years. But I kept putting off changing it. You see, to me, it represented a few things from my life before sickness that I wasn’t ready to change yet. For example, it was a picture taken while I was out hiking a mountain in Washington state. I no longer live in Washington state, and for a long time I couldn’t hike. (Though thankfully no I can!!!!). I missed both of those things a lot. The thing is, my life is different now. Instead of snowy mountain lakes, I have majestic red rock formations to hike up. My life has changed, and I have changed.

A phrase people with chronic illness say, is, “I want my life back.”. However, to be honest, you will never get your life back exactly as it was before. Because of what you’ve been through your life will never be the same. Even if all the events go back to the same as before, you will never be the same. You’ve changed! Your perspective has changed. I know I’ve grown is my view of other people, my faith, my compassion, and my maturity to name a few things. And while I don’t know if I would choose the same events to happen if I could change it, I definitely don’t want to lose how I’ve grown. And I know that God is, and was, in control of the events in my life. So… I don’t want my old life back, as much as I do. (Did I dare just say that? :D)

While remembering things in the past are good, and looking forward to the future, and hoping for healing are good, don’t forget to rejoice in where God has you right now. Don’t forget that God has a purpose that He put you here for right now. Don’t miss the precious days He has blessed you with right now.

Especially as a teenager or kid. You may seem to have lost your teenage years, which don’t last long, to sickness. However, remember: these teenage years are precious, and they don’t last long. Will you spend them just longing for when you’ll be better so that you can enjoy them, or will you be purposeful with them now, even when you’re sick?

*Note: The Rapunzel picture is not mine, I got it from: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/315603886373934487/