Dear Fellow Chronic Illness Fighter,

Let’s agree to something, okay? I promise I won’t compare myself to you, if you won’t compare yourself to me. Don’t you think that will save a whole lot of messes? We’re in this together, and we’re going to need each other’s support. If we get stuck in the comparison trap, we won’t be able to do that very well, don’t you think?

To me, it looks like you are handling your trials a whole lot better than I am, and it probably looks the other way around to you. But God doesn’t want us to feel guilty by comparing ourselves to each other. You see, I’m a mess too, you just don’t see all of it. I try my best not to publicly display all of my brokenness. Maybe that’s pride, I don’t know. But you’re not alone in your trials. I’m not necessarily stronger than you in any way. If you’re trying your best to please God, then that’s enough. You don’t have to worry about if you need to do it the same as me, or if I’m doing it better. I’m not. I fall apart too. I complain. I whine. I wish for it to go away. I cry and sob, and push people away. I try to hide from my problem.

I get jealous of people around me who are able to do and have things that I can’t because of my sickness. Which I guess is another form of this horrible thing called comparison. Are you jealous of me, too, not just healthy people? Am I jealous of you? I try not to be. It isn’t fair to either of us. The thing is, as similar as our situations and struggles are, no person’s life is the same. And neither is any person. So it’s really not right that we try and compare ourselves to each other. We really should just be seeking what God expects of us, and trust in that. In Him.

Another thought- it should never be a competition between us who has the biggest trials, pain, or suffering. Wouldn’t you agree? Does it matter whose suffering is the worst, or the hardest? Does it matter who got off easier? Both of us are struggling, and that should be enough. Both of us need compassion and comfort, and that should be okay. God gave each of us the exact trials and situation that He knows we can handle, He knows is best for us, He knows we need. And both you and I probably have struggles that no one else sees. Struggles that may be even bigger than the obvious blatant battle of physical sickness symptoms. That goes for the ‘healthy’ people around us too. It’s easy to think they can’t ever understand, or comprehend our trials. But they might have battles even huger than ours. So let’s not judge. Oh, that brings to mind another thought about judging. Earlier I mentioned the struggle of feeling guilty by comparing our conduct in out trials to each other’s. But it goes the other way around too. Sometimes it can be easy to think that we are handling our situation better than someone else is. We judge them. However, like we established before, that’s not a fair comparison- all of our lives are different, some with hidden burdens.

All of this stuff just causes discouragement, guilt, jealousy, and hurt relationships. Instead, let’s build each other up, and encourage each other. Let’s focus on God, and what He wants, rather than trying to compare ourselves to others to see if we’re doing things right or wrong.

In Christ,

Sara

Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God.  Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died,and your life is now hidden with Christ in God.  When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory. -Colossians 3:1-4 (NIV)

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. -Hebrews 12:1-3 (NIV)