I have been blessed with an amazing network of family, friends, and prayer warriors. They have encouraged and helped me in so many ways so much throughout my sickness, and I am SO thankful for each and every one of them. But they are human, and sometimes my biggest supporters need support themselves. Sometimes they come to the end of their own ropes, and not only can’t be as strong for you, but need you to be strong for them. Which is healthy, normal, and totally fine! Relationships work both ways, and we should be there for our supporters just like they are for us. 🙂 Of course!
However, it can sometimes be hard when your supporters crash right at the same time you do. Just because they are struggling doesn’t mean that you can forget your own struggles (though sometime focusing on someone else certainly helps!).
Family As Supporters
I remember one morning specifically, when I snapped at my sister multiple times, and instead of reacting with understandable frustration and hurt, she just brought me tea, a blanket, and food. Without me asking.
I remember one evening when I was in tears, thinking that my mom didn’t understand where I was, what I was feeling, and why couldn’t she just understand?! But then I went to take my daily Epsom salt bath (for severe joint pain I had at that point) and found that she had set it all up, and added a bath pillow for me.
Thank you, Daddy, Mommy, Silas, and Nina.
The thing is, though, that they are human. Their compassion does reach a limit.They are with me in the struggle, and feel it themselves. Sometimes the time comes when they can’t be my support, because they are crumbling themselves. Suddenly my advisor, my emotional support, my encouragement is crying into my shoulder. They are at the end of their ropes, too. What do you do? How do you keep standing? Or do you? Do you just fall? Is that the answer? And why, oh why, does it always happen when you are at your worst?
The first time this happened to me, it was a family member. We were in the middle of one of the most chaotic and simply hard phases of this sickness so far, and things were crazy. I just wanted someone to give me a hug and listen to me verbally sort myself out. But everyone around me was in the same boat. The thing about our families is that they are with us all the time. They experience every trial with us. They can’t take much of a break from it either. After a while, it gets tough. And they likely wear down at the same times we do, because they are experiencing similar things at the same time we are. In that situation, it’s best for us to go to someone outside the situation, who has been able to not be in the immediate trials constantly, moment in and moment out. They have more reserve mental and emotional stamina. 😉
Friends As Support
But what about when our friends, though maybe with a little breathing space from our sickness, need support too? Friends can be such amazing blessings God gives us to help us through. But they are human as well, and they will need help! Well, there is One you can go to that won’t fail you. That you will never be too much for.
God is always there. He is never going to leave, you will never be too much for Him to handle. You can trust Him. He can give you peace. He can hold you, will hold you. He never reaches the end of His rope. God is far stronger and bigger than anything you could face. He will never fail you. He will never leave. He will never be too tired, too stressed, struggling, sick, and weak. In Him you are safe. He already sees all your hurt and burdens, you don’t have to be afraid to tell Him. And guess what? He understands. He knows exactly where you are, exactly what you are going through.
 Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7 (NIV)
God can even give you the strength, compassion, and words to help other people who are struggling-Â even when you yourself are struggling.
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ. -2 Corinthians 1:1-4 (NIV)
We just have to rely on God. Yes, it will be hard, and yes, it will take learning, but. God is sufficient. In our weakness He is made strong (2 Corinthian 12:9).