There’s this wonderful song by Rend Collective titled “True North”. Part of the lyrics go:

Oh, You are my true north
Oh, You are my true north
I will follow You into the dark; dark, dark
I will follow You with all my heart; heart, heart

Really, it’s quite a fun song, it makes you want to dance. That line, “I will follow You into the dark” could have been my life song for this season of sickness. I don’t know where God is going with this, what His plan is, or why He’s allowing this to happen. But that’s okay because He knows the where and why. He is in control, and His plans are good.

I will follow God into the dark. Eventually, though the dark remained difficult, I realized that it ‘forced’ me to seek God and to rely on Him for everything. Though the dark was still scary and unknown and painful, I saw that diamond-making that was happening in it. The dark became familiar.

Now, I find myself facing a different scenario. I’m getting better. I could be wrong, but it looks like healing is just around the corner. Dreams that died are being resurrected by God’s grace and power. I can glimpse the light at the end of the tunnel.

And it scares me almost as much as the dark scared me. I know that I am a sinner. I know that I am prone to wander. I’m afraid of how I will handle the light. In this sickness, I am forced to turn to God for everything. But… what happens when those things are taken away? Will I seek God just as much in the light? When things are easy and my faith isn’t being tested as obviously, will I stand firm? Will I keep my heart focused on Him and not let my attention be slowly distracted?

Just as I know that storms will end, I know that storms will also come again. And I want to use the time of rest to my best ability. I want to use it to heal emotionally and spiritually as well as physically. I want to water the roots that have held me up during the drought.

Just as the dark was full of unknowns, the light seems just as unknown to me. But here’s what I know: God’s grace is sufficient for me in the light as well as the darkness. In the good days as well as the bad days. In the easy as well as the hard.

And so I will follow God into the light too. I will trust Him. I will bring all my new questions to Him, knowing He is plenty big enough to answer them. I will surrender the light to Him as well as the dark. I will surrender to His plans. I will trust His goodness, and I will trust that He will never stop pursuing me. That whether I turn to the right or the left, I will hear a voice behind me saying, “This is the way, walk in it.” (see Isaiah 30:21)

I will follow Him into the light.

Whether you are facing the light or the dark right now, I ask you: will you join me? We can trust our Savior, the lover of our souls.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. -2 Corinthians 12:9 (NIV)

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. -Isaiah 41:10 (NIV)

Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. -Psalm 23:4 (NIV)

For another article I’ve written about struggling to follow God into the light, go here: Trusting in God’s Goodness

ALSO! Don’t miss my guest post today on Isabella Morganthal’s blog here: God’s Grace is Sufficient in Illness