Last week, I posted an open letter to a friend, telling her that I would fight with her, and urging you to do the same with those in your life. But today, I thought it would be helpful to talk about ways we can fight with those in our lives. So often, we want to help, but don’t know how.
First, don’t just try to fix the person or their problems. Let me say that again: compassion is not fixing people or their problems. Helping people is great. But seriously, the best thing you can do to fight with someone is to simply be there for them. To sit with them while they cry, to listen when they talk, to wait patiently when they do neither. Just. Be. There. With. Them.
Next, remember that people are physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual beings. None of us is just one, and when we want to help someone, we can’t forget that they are all of those things. And that each of those areas affects and bleeds into the other areas. We cannot become too focused on one part and neglect the others. It’s not healthy, and not very helpful. When you help someone, focus on the whole person as much as possible.
Another thing you should know about fighting with someone is to let them lead. If you don’t know how to help someone tell them that. It’s okay to say “I wish I could help” or “I don’t know what to say”. Ask them how you can help. Ask them what you can do.
Here’s the secret to fighting with someone: prayer. I know, it sounds simple, but do you need me to tell you how powerful it is? There are SO MANY reasons you should pray for someone while you fight with them.
First, that is where the biggest battle is. Our fight is not against flesh and blood “but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” (Ephesians 6:12)
2 Corinthians 10:4 says: The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds.
The power to demolish strongholds! How amazing is that?
Another reason prayer is so important is because it takes the pressure off of us when it comes to fighting with those around us. The truth is, we are not the keepers of the hearts of those around us. We can help them as best as we can, but in the end, it is up to God. They are not in our hands, they are in God’s.
…to be continued in my next post.