…continued from previous post:
Trying to help someone is scary… what if we say the wrong thing? What if our help makes it worse? How do we know what in the world to say or do?
And I’m pretty sure no one knows what the exact right thing is to say or do in any situation. I sure don’t. But I’ve learned not to let that scare me. Because God does know what each individual person needs. And He can work through us. In our weakness, His power is made perfect.
So when you don’t know what to do, pray. Ask that God would give you the words, and help you to know what to do. And then… just do or say things the best way that you can.
It’s actually very important to know that you don’t have all the answers. Even if we think we do, it’s important to acknowledge that we may not understand the way we think we do or have the wisdom or help that someone needs. It’s actually super helpful to say this out loud to the person we are trying to fight with.
Those of us who are chronically ill have a unique position, where our illness forces us to understand suffering in deep ways. However, that doesn’t mean we have the answers. And as we’ve probably each experienced people telling us they understand and try to feed us clean-cut answers that only proved they didn’t understand and that only hurt us more… we don’t want to do that to others.
So when you are helping people, be gentle, and acknowledge that you don’t have all the answers, that you may not understand. Saying you might not understand actually proves that you do have a deeper understanding than those who insist they do know exactly what someone is going through (I’m guilty of this too, so don’t feel too bad, just do it differently next time 😉 ).
Another thing you should know about fighting with others is to not be afraid of just speaking what you know. Obviously be careful and cautious (and everyone is different), but you don’t have to have fancy words. Just share God’s truth, share the ways He has taught those things to you.
When I first started trying to fight with those around me, I was afraid of cliches. But sometimes, cliches are what we need. Just because a truth is a cliche, doesn’t mean it doesn’t need to be told. Don’t let Satan deceive you by saying something is cliche or you can’t help anyone. I think the reason truths become cliche is because of the desperate need we humans need to hear them over and over again. We all fight the similar battles and the same lies.
So let’s make an effort to fight together. To fight with those around us.