Rose. Brenda. Marie. Ashley. Hope.* Me. I hate it. I HATE how many hearts are broken right now. Crushed. How many feel beyond defeated. And how many feel so, so alone. With a loneliness that nothing can alleviate. A loneliness that traps us, gripping us in its iron clenches, stabbing into our hearts, destroying our strength and willpower and fight.

I wish I could take a literal sword to the lies me so many people I love dearly are fighting. I wish I had Lucy’s potion for all the broken hearts I’m surrounded on every side by. Maybe one of those hearts is yours. Maybe your mind is filled with a barrage of lies that seems impossible to combat. Maybe you feel like curling in a ball and laying there until you die. Maybe you are curled in a ball, unable to do more than force yourself to breath through the pain, be it physical or emotional.

Or maybe you are forcing it all down as far as it will possibly go. Maybe you are forcing a smile on your face, a numbness covering you like a smothering blanket. Maybe you can’t allow yourself time to sit still or think or even breathe because if you do, you’ll lose it. Because the thoughts are too much. Because the hurt is too deep.

Maybe you are alternating between screaming in the car by yourself, crying yourself to sleep, and forcing yourself to function throughout the day. Sitting with your sister as she sobs, imploring your mom to just hang in there, distracting your friend as she tries to force just one more supplement down without vomiting.

Maybe you’re some combination or it all or something completely different.

Everything within me wishes that I could fight this with you. Everything within me wishes I could look straight into your eyes and speak the truth. Everything within me wishes like a roaring lion to destroy everything attacking you, lifting it from you. Everything within me wants to fight for you with wild abandon. And you know what? I am right now as best I can. I am praying for you — yes, you. I am writing this to ask you something impossible in human strength — please keep fighting. Please don’t give up. Please.

I know it isn’t easy. I know. My heart has been totally and completely crushed twice already this week. And as I write this, it’s only Tuesday night. I’ve cried myself to sleep. I feel numb. I feel like vomiting, the hurt and fear and shock are so strong.

I feel defeated. I feel alone.

Maybe you do too.

You know what I keep praying? “God, I feel so defeated and alone. But thank You that I am not alone — that You will never leave me or forsake me. And thank You that I am not defeated, since through you I already stand in victory. I come to this battle from a place of victory. You’ve already won. Please help me to remember.”

I still feel so defeated and alone. But I know my feelings are not true. And so as I feel these things, I’m continually thanking God for what I know is true — choosing to try as best I can to remember it. I don’t often succeed. But even as you slip and fall and are lonely and feel defeated — keep fighting to remember.

Even if it doesn’t feel true, please know that it is. Please keep fighting even when you feel utterly defeated. The TRUTH is you are not alone and you never will be. The TRUTH is in Jesus, you are already victorious. As Corrie ten Boom writes in her book Amazing Grace, “The devil is more powerful than we are, but Jesus is more powerful than the devil. Now if we belong to Jesus, we are on the victorious side.”

I know it’s hard. I don’t it doesn’t feel real. But it is true.

Please don’t give up. Please keep fighting. You are a warrior! Even if you don’t feel like it. Keep fighting. Hear me? Keep fighting. Hang in there.

*Names changed for privacy.

Also, if you want to read more about loneliness and not being alone, see my recent article on foundwhoiam.com.