I’ve written on the topic of envy and envying the healthy on multiple occasions. Both on this blog and in my books. It’s something I struggle with a lot. You see, I have one of those brothers who just seems to be amazing at everything. He’d say otherwise, but physically, mentally, financially, educationally . . . he simply excels.

When I was young, I always tried to keep up with him, but once I got sick, he grew up and I . . . I didn’t. But let’s stop there. He’s not the only healthy person I’ve envied. I’ve envied friends and family and the random kid running on the track.

This week, I opened my Bible to Psalm 73. Since getting sick, I’ve learned a whole lot from Psalm 73 in particular. But one part of it spoke directly to the emotions of envy and frustration I’ve felt as a spoonie.

“For I envied the arrogant when I saw the prosperity of the wicked. They have no struggles; their bodies are healthy and strong. They are free from common human burdens; they are not plagued by human ills. Therefore pride is their necklace; they clothe themselves with violence.” (Psalm 73:3-6 NIV)

Now, I’m not saying that healthy people are automatically wicked or arrogant people (or that sick people are automatically saints). But don’t some of Asaph’s thoughts in this Psalm resonate with you? We look around and watch people not struggle to get out of bed or make breakfast or comprehend a math problem and it can feel like they are “not plagued by human ills.” Like they “have no struggles” at all.

And boy, is it hard to watch while we struggle to even make it to the bathroom. In verses 13-14, Asaph expresses his frustration, “Surely in vain I have kept my heart pure and have washed my hands in innocence. All day long I have been afflicted, and every morning brings new punishments.”

It can feel like all our trying is a waste. Like it’s not accomplishing anything. I could talk about how it’s not fair to compare ourselves to each other and to healthy people. I could talk about how any righteousness on our part doesn’t automatically give us a free pass from suffering in this fallen world while we live in it. I could talk about how envying others is disobeying God. 

But I want to take a minute to point out the personal harm it can cause us to envy those that “have no struggles.” The passage at the beginning of this post starts with “For.” “For I have envied . . .” But what’s with the “for”? Why was the “for” necessary? What was it referring to?

If we back up to verse 2, it says, “But as for me, my feet had almost slipped; I had nearly lost my foothold. For I envied . . .” Asaph had almost slipped and almost lost his foothold in life because he had envied the arrogant and not understood their final destination.