Maybe this is just a Sara thing. But I love glancing through my spam comments on occasion. A lot of them are actually very uplifting and positive (if you ignore that they’re trying to manipulate you). Others of them are so bizarre you simply laugh. Most of all, they tend to make me super sarcastic. 

So today, since I am still too burnt out to write much of a “real” post, please enjoy this behind the scenes look at blogging. Maybe I’m “witty” as some spammers have said and it will make you laugh. Maybe you should simply skip to the end and comment something random, doing your best spam commenter impression. I look forward to reading them. 😉 

Liliana and Florine both commented the same exact sentence twice, along with a link I didn’t dare click on: “I found this board and I find It truly useful & it helped me out a lot.” No idea what board they’re talking about or what it helped them with, but good for them.

Honestly, scrolling through my unapproved spam comments (there are currently 3,848), it’s amazing how many different people have the exact same thing to say. 

Bitcoin recently commented, “Valuable info. Lucky mе I found yoᥙr site by chance, and I’m shocked why tһis coincidence ɗiⅾ not happened in advance! Ӏ bookmarked it.” I’m honestly not shocked at the lucky coincidence, the internet is a big place. But thanks for bookmarking it! It means a lot that you value my message so much. It takes a lot for me to bookmark something.

Forestube said, “Hi, I log on to your blogs regularly. Your humoristic style is awesome, keep doing what you?re doing!” and Hortense (who also shared a link to forestube) commented, “Hi, I log on to your new stuff on a regular basis. Your writing style is witty, keep doing what you?re doing!” I mean, I know these are spam comments, but I have to say, it feels nice to be called humoristic and witty. Although, while I do try to be funny sometimes, I find it interesting that they thought an article about scars and pain and fear was so laughable.

Steph B. commented, “I found this article very interesting. You may have seen on NBC news concerning the implantable RFID microchip that some people are getting put in their hand to make purchases, but did you know this microchip matches perfectly with prophecy in the Bible? You may have heard of the legendary number “666” that people have been speculating for possibly thousands of years on what it actually means. This article shares something I haven’t seen before, and I don’t think there could be any better explanation for what it means to calculate 666. This is no hoax. Very fascinating stuff!” She commented this on my blog post, “A Prayer From A Spoonie Trapped By Guilt.” Hmm. Actually I got about fifteen other comments on this very topic, but they were article-length themselves. A third of them were in other languages.

On my post, “7 Ways To Detox During Die-Off” Google commented, “You really make it appear really easy with your presentation but I find this topic to be actually one thing which I feel I would by no means understand. It sort of feels too complex and extremely extensive for me.” Honestly, I kinda agree. Detoxing is soooo much more complicated than I made it seem in that post, and I actually have considered taking that post down. But was it really necessary to use two “reallys” so close together? My inner editor cringed.

“Wonderful blog! I found it while searching on Yahoo News. Do you have any suggestions on how to get listed in Yahoo News? I’ve been trying for a while but I never seem tto get there!” Wait, really?? No idea how that happened. You’d think a few more people might have found me. 

Katja commented, “Hi there, I read your new stuff daily.”  Wow, I am barely keeping up with posting once a week, I wonder where Katja is finding all of this daily content?

Someone else with a very long Arabic handle commented, “Excellent website. Plenty of useful info here. I’m sending it to some pals ans additionally sharing in delicious. And certainly, thank you to your sweat!” I have to say, I’ve never had someone thank my sweat before. Also pretty sure sweat had nothing to do with that article in any way, shape, or form. It was a guest post. 

“Your exuberance is refreshing!” Thanks! Your exuberance is annoying.

“I’m interested in making my own music blog and I’m constantly looking through many music blogs throughout the day finding new music first before other people that I know. But how exactly do those blogs find that music first? Can I really start by just posting the music I find on other blogs?.” No clue. I am very non-musical. Good luck, though.

“Das gilt für gleichen Jahrgang und gleiche Charge.” Translated from German, this means, “This applies to the same vintage and the same batch.”

Guys, seriously. I don’t understand spam comments. What do they accomplish? I’ve seen some clever ones that might help people click on links, sure. In fact, sometimes the spam comments get so sophisticated that I second guess which are real or not. But most of them make zero sense. Who would fall for them? And why are they so random?

I could go on . . . like I said, I have almost 4,000 spam comments I’ve been ignoring. But fellow bloggers! Share some of your craziest spam comments below. And everyone else — comment your best illogical random spam comment to make me laugh.

P.S. A tip for spam commenters: spellcheck.