I didn’t want to get out of bed this morning. Or any day this week. I didn’t want to face the day or the people in it — especially myself. Sitting here on the bathroom floor writing this after everyone else has gone to bed and the house is quiet — I don’t want to go to bed either. Too many weird dreams lately.
This week (and the last few weeks) I’ve found myself in perpetual fight or flight mode. I won’t get into why at the moment — but I want to speak some truth to myself and to you about our beautiful purpose.
Life is hard. Nobody is disputing that. I don’t know what you’re going through right now. There are a lot of possibilities. And I want you to know that my heart hurts for you. Even if no one sees your pain, God does. And just because no one sees it doesn’t mean it isn’t real, legitimate, and valid.
Please don’t forget that. I’m happy to remind you as many times as you need.
But warrior, if you, like me, didn’t want to get out of bed this morning, I want to encourage you to hang in there. I know it’s hard. But God has already brought you through so much. He will bring you through this too.
Your pain is not in vain. God still has an incredible, beautiful purpose for you. Even in your pain. Your weariness. Your grief. Your anger. Your frustration. Your confusion.
If all you can do is take it moment by moment, then warrior, just do that! You don’t have to take on the whole world or your whole life or the whole year in this moment. Fix your eyes on Jesus. Not the waves. Not the long race you still have to run. Just on Jesus.
Fight! I know you can do it. Even getting out of bed counts as fighting. Even sitting there and sobbing, pouring your heart out to God, counts as fighting. If you can do more, great!
For me the last few weeks, fighting has been sending a friend a meme. They didn’t know how incredibly difficult it was for me to simply reach out in that simple way with my communication and emotional struggles, but I’m proud of myself for that. Fighting for me has looked like putting all my energy into simply not hyperventilating. Fighting for me has looked like letting myself take a nap. Those things count.
So dear warrior, hang in there. You have beautiful purpose. Storms come and go, it’s just their nature. This won’t last forever. God is not finished with you. Choose to do the hard things and send that text or do your hair or practice self care. Most of all, give yourself some grace, will you? You’re worth it. God loves you, will you see yourself the way He sees you? Cherished. Adopted. Beautiful. Beloved. Worth dying for.
Hang in there. Breathe. And ask God for help. He won’t abandon you, even if everyone else does.
Beautiful and powerful post, Sara. <3 Praying for you!
<3
This was exactly what I needed today. <3
*hugs*