I got an email from a chronically ill reader recently. My heart twinged as I read the last two sentences. “how am i suppose to just be fine about this chronic illness? do you have any advice?”
I think every chronic illness warrior eventually ends up at this question. Someone tells us what “chronic” means and it finally sinks in. This isn’t gonna end any time soon. We’re in it for the long haul.
Yet so often, the truth hits unapologetically. Without compassion. How are we supposed to just be “fine” with it? How does one accept a life-sentence?
After some pondering, my fingers found the keys on my laptop. “You don’t have to just be fine with your chronic illness.”
It’s true. If right now, you’re struggling with your long term illness or diagnosis — that’s totally okay. In fact, I would be a bit concerned if you weren’t struggling. You don’t have to be fine with your chronic illness. You weren’t created to live with a chronic illness. It’s supposed to be hard. It’s human to struggle.
But because we live in a world fallen into sin, illness and other painful things are inevitable. Chronic illness isn’t something we can just ignore. It’s something we have to learn to accept and live with.
It takes time. It takes creativity. It isn’t easy.
But once you learn how to manage it as best you can (often this takes experimentation to figure out what works best), it doesn’t have to rule you.
Instead of striving to just “be fine” with your chronic illness, take the time to accept it. Take the time to grieve it. As we were discussing as part of the Diamonds 2020 rewatch, grieving a chronic illness isn’t a one-and-done thing, it resurfaces as our illnesses change.
Give yourself grace. Talk to the people who love you. Talk to God. Talk to other chronically ill people. They might be hard to find at first, but they’re out there!
The way to a place of acceptance in your grief is to process. If you try to simply put on a brave face and push your emotions down, it doesn’t mean you’ve dealt with it, accepted it, or that you handled it in a healthy way. It simply delayed the moment of reconciliation that has to happen.
You’re stronger than you know, warrior. But sometimes, the strongest thing you can do it give yourself grace and time. Sometimes, the strongest thing you can do it ask for help.
I needed this <3 Thanks girl!
<3 Glad it was helpful!!