I remember going over my allergy test results with the doctor and staring at the red, green, and yellow bars running all over the paper, like traffic lights telling us “Yes, go ahead and eat that” or “Steer clear of this one!”

I remember when my mom came home with the news that she had a gluten allergy.  

I also remember when a friend ate a peanut-butter cookie and her lips turned bright red and started swelling.

When your friends and family suddenly can’t eat certain foods, or you watch them experience unusual symptoms, it can be scary! And trying to figure out the best way to support them can definitely be a challenge.

If you’re feeling stuck trying to figure out how to help your friends and family, you’re not alone. Those beginning stages of learning about food allergies can be overwhelming! All these terms come flying at you like you are drinking through a firehose: leaky gut, food allergies and sensitivities, anaphylaxis, lactase, lactose, gluten, a thousand different diets and treatments, and more!

If you’re feeling like you can’t keep up, don’t worry. The fact that you are trying means so much! Those of us with allergies don’t expect you to read through a dictionary of allergy terms (though if you find one, let us know! 🙂 ) We appreciate that you’re taking the time to show you care!

Here are a few tips I’ve learned from personal experience on how to be encouraging to your loved ones. They may seem like little things, but they mean the most to us!

1.  Just Be There

When our loved ones find out they have food allergies, just being there for them is encouraging! Taking the time to listen to their symptoms (even if they seem a little unusual 🙂 ) can go a long way in helping your friend.

Here are two little suggestions that seem pretty minor, but can really show your friends and family you care:

1) Remember their allergies

Now I totally understand this can be pretty tricky… in the beginning stages of my allergies, even I had trouble remembering all of mine! (thank God for moms!) But making an effort to remember speaks volumes!

2) Try to limit conversations about food in large groups 🙂

This one is tricky, and don’t feel bad if the conversation turns to food! It is totally natural! Just do your best. 🙂  One suggestion might be asking your friend their favorite recipe, or something else to help them feel included, when the conversation turns to food.

2. Be VERY careful when making food.

A couple years ago, I was making some “powerballs” (which are sort of like a granola bar) and I quickly grabbed in the cupboard and pulled out what I thought was cinnamon. After pouring it into the almond butter/honey/raisin/flaxseed mixture, I realized with horror that it wasn’t cinnamon. It was cumin! :p  Yuck!

In the same way, sometimes it can be easy for foods to get cross-contaminated. Particles can fly through the air, or food containers can touch each other. Or, when cooking, it can be so easy to use the same scoop in different containers, or even a little crumb might be left after running our dishes through the dishwasher. Depending on the intensity of our friend’s allergies, that can make them really sick! One way to make this easier is just to allow them to bring their own food. It really helped my family move past the awkwardness of food allergies when some friends invited us over, and suggested we “just bring over our own”. We had such a lovely time, and our food allergies didn’t get in the way!

Ultimately, just be understanding either way. Take the time to ask questions – it will be such a blessing to your loved one!

3. Try Some New Traditions

What comes to your mind when you think of a party? Cake. Sports game? Chips, hot dogs, etc. Movie Night? Popcorn. Our culture is obsessed with food!

So what are a few things you can do that aren’t centered around food? Here are a few things I enjoy:

• Playing ultimate frisbee
• Kayaking or playing in the water
• Going to the zoo
• Crafty Night! 🙂  
• Hanging out at the park (If you want a picnic, one way you can make it comfortable for everyone is to do it sack-lunch style; everyone is eating something different. 🙂 )

Now please don’t get me wrong! You can still have events with food! Don’t feel like you can’t invite your friends with allergies to your parties or to watch a movie together! We still love being invited even if we can’t share the food. But if you are trying to plan an event specifically for your friend, thinking about the food and how they will be affected is greatly appreciated!

Ultimately, the key is to be flexible and caring. While all these tips seem pretty small, I can say from personal experience they will mean the world to your loved one! And, from all of us with food allergies, thank you for showing us you care!

Thank you so much for guest posting, Hannah! Definitely check out her email list!