“Those things that broke your sweet heart into a million fragmented pieces were never meant to harden you.” -Jennifer Renee Watson, Freedom!
I’ve never gone through a break-up. I’ve never had a parent or sibling or close friend die. My parents aren’t divorced. But my heart has been broken.
Broken. It took me a while to place that label on my heart. It took me a while to realize that was what this deep, aching grief and pain were. “Heartbroken” seemed to be a word reserved only for the above circumstances, not for a little chronic illness. Sure, I had physical brokenness, but that didn’t equate a broken heart, did it?
Yet illness has left me broken, and I’ve come to realize it wasn’t just physical. It has stolen so much that was precious to me far beyond physical comfort and ability. It stole time, dreams, and — especially — relationships. And that’s what broke my heart.
What doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger, does it not? But sometimes it leaves you broken. Don’t get me wrong — God can and does use brokenness. He is even known to heal it. Psalm 34:18 (NIV) tells us, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
But that’s just it.
Do we let God into our brokenness?
I think that so often, it’s easy to take our million fragmented pieces and hide. We numb ourselves to the world. We confuse strength with hardness. Strength is still tender. Strength is still able to feel. But we like to become hard. We face pain, and lock our heart in self-preservation.
We’re just protecting our hearts, right? The Bible says to guard your heart, for all you do flows from it. (See Proverbs 4:23.) It even specifies, “above all else!” We usually take this to mean guard our hearts from evil, but there’s some wisdom in protecting our hearts from the painful consequences of sin in this fallen world, right? And with the pain we feel, the grief that crashes down on us, and the brokenness we’ve found ourselves facing, we suddenly get it: our hearts are fragile!
Duh. If only we’d known sooner.
But no, that doesn’t help. We were commanded to guard our hearts, yes, but not to imprison them. Not to trap them in an airtight metal container. Yes, perhaps in there they cannot get hurt. But neither can they love.
Yes, some emotions hurt. We live in a fallen world. But emotions are a gift from God. We cannot get rid of the undesirable ones without also numbing ourselves to feeling altogether. As Holley Gerth puts it in her book Fiercehearted, “We can no longer be as hurt, but we can no longer care with the same tenderness either.”
Guys, I get it. Illness has broken us. But can we let it make us stronger rather than hardening us?
It’s easy to be hardened. But not as easy to be strengthened. Yet by God’s grace and power, let’s be strengthened, not hardened. Hardened doesn’t equal strength and strength doesn’t equal unfeeling. Quite the opposite.
But how can we be made stronger? How are we supposed to avoid being hardened? By allowing Jesus into our pain and brokenness. It’s as simple and difficult as that. Only through His grace can we avoid bitterness. Only through His love can we prevent ourselves from cutting ourselves off. He can take our weakness and make it something powerful. Something that glorifies Him.
“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” (2 Corinthians 12:9)
He can use our scars as vessels of healing. He can take our brokenness and shine through it. Trials don’t make us strong because they harden us, trials make us strong because they force us to rely on God — and He is stronger than anything.
Hardened VS Strengthened: Mother’s Day Giveaway!
To celebrate mother’s day (for a lot of us, caregiver’s day, am I right?) I wanted to do a giveaway, because who doesn’t like free stuff? Also, when I found myself half-crying half-beaming over how amazing my readers are the other day, I realized it’s been a while since I showed my appreciation. So. Feel appreciated.
The giveaway will be:
- A signed copy of my book He’s Making Diamonds
- Young Living Lavender Bath Bombs
- A chocolate bar
Make sure you enter below! 😀 Those already subscribed get a free entry too!
Giveaway ends on Saturday.
Such a good post! Thank you for sharing! And the giveaway prize is so fun! <3
Thanks for reading! 😀 Oh good. XD I told my sister “I don’t want this to be just another giveaway.”
You are very right Sara! God is so tender, and we are made in his image. Real strength is being able to be weak and vulnerable and yet strong in the strength God provides. I know a wonderful woman at my church who’s had depression for forty years, but she lives out this truth. She isn’t afraid to say why she can’t come to church at times. She confesses her need and is willing to receive aid. And she is a great friend besides! I thought of her as I read this post.
Thanks for posting!
Exactly! 🙂 Aw, she sounds like an amazing woman.
This is a wonderful post, Sara. So much of what you described is true for me, and possibly all of it. Thanks for sharing this truth!
<3 Glad you liked it! :)
So very true!
Glad you liked it! 🙂