Confession: This is my 4th attempt at a blog post for this week.
There are two reasons for this. The first is, I’ve reached the point in my healing journey where I’m supposed to be pushing myself physically. So I’ve spent a lot more time than usual doing activities and spending time out of the house and doing chores. And this is a good thing! It’s just making me take a bit of a step back from things like . . . blogging.
The second reason this is my 4th attempt at a blog post this week is that grieving what illness has stolen and done to me sucks. Somedays, I’ll be going along just fine until out of the blue — wham! Emotions, memories, hurts. Other days, it’s all I can do to hide the continually resurfacing tears.
It sucks. I’m so weary of it, does it ever end? I should be over this now, right? I should be just fine. Why is the grief suddenly so clear now when it’s lain somewhat dormant for the past few years? Ugh.
So, yeah. Between all that and other family things going on, I’ve been emotionally drained. And the problem is, most of what I write comes from very vulnerable and emotional places in my heart.
One of my attempted blog posts this past week was “12 Essential Oil Hacks for Spoonies.” But when I had one of my editors read it, she said it felt detached. And the reason is I feel detached. Sooo….. yeah, I have no idea where I’m going with this. I hoped once I started writing I’d have something hopeful or helpful to say.
But . . . hang in there? It’s okay if you have days when you can’t be everything all the time. It’s okay if you need to take a step back. It’s okay if there are days when you’re emotionally exhausted. Take some pressure off yourself.
I guess I figure you guys will understand. I don’t have anything insightful to share with you today, except an encouragement to hang in there and to rest if you need it. Take some of the pressure off yourself to be perfect and keep up with everything.
Okay?
Give yourself permission to read a book on Saturday. Or eat some ice cream. Or use your spare moments to rest. As chronically ill warriors, we can tend to be terrible at resting, right? We spend so much time forced to “not do anything”, we strive to use every spare moment to its max. But sometimes, the best way to use a spare moment is to rest.
I’ve been using my spare moments lately to either physically push myself or to grieve. And that’s left me exhausted. So learn from my mistakes and take some of the pressure off yourself. I’ll try to do the same. (No promises.) 😉
How have you been lately? (I’m serious, lmk how I can pray for you!)
Hey there’s two of us! Don’t feel down on yourself. I’ve written this comment ten times by now. lol
I love your honesty.
How about prayers for endurance! It’s nothin’ but meat and veg for me, which I must follow 💯 or I’ll have to eat stricter than that. (The Wahls’ Protocol might be next.😞) I think you know how hard it is to function when one’s diet is limited and makes you feel worse (and not better—yet anyway!). Anyway, thanks for praying!
Thanks for your encouragement! 🙂 Definitely praying for you! From personal experience, I can attest to how difficult (and depressing!) diet restrictions can be. Let me know if you ever need someone to vent to, lol! You can do it.
Thanks Sara!
Loved this!
😀 Glad to hear that!
Thank you for posting this. I suffer from a chronic illness and there are days I just can’t do it. I hurt so bad. I need to learn that it’s okay to take a break. It’s okay not to be okay.
You’re so right. Have some grace on yourself! I know that easier said than done, but like you said, it’s okay to not be okay. I’m so sorry you have to deal with chronic illness too!
*hugs* God got this, Sara! He has been showing me the beauty of the Sabbath’s rest and throughout the week how much we need to be still in Him. He’s got the whole world in His hands. ♥ Rest up, girly! You’re so loved.
Oooh me too! It’s SO hard to be still when you just got a spurt of energy and you want to knock off a bunch of chores off your list. You know? I am so glad God made the Sabbath!
<3 Thank you so much for the reminders of truth. They help more than you know.
*hugs* Thank you for being so open. You helped me sort some things out. I’ll be releasing the pressure from blogging and tennis and just rest. (No promises from me either) Prayers for strength and joy, please.
*hugs back* Aw, I’m so glad this helped you, Fe. <3 You can do it! Praying for strength and joy.