I stared at myself in the mirror as I wearily leaned on the the counter, the feeling of lightheaded dizziness still making me unbalanced. I questioned what on earth was going on with me as tears started to fill my eyes. I’ve always gotten sick easily, had to watch what I eat, and take my asthma medication daily, but last year was the worst I had been since I was a toddler. We visited many doctors, changed meds more times than I would have liked, and I had to restrict my diet even further because my stomach couldn’t handle the foods I normally ate.
My thoughts turned to the teens I knew as I started to go down a path I had walked a thousand times. They could eat whatever they wanted, go wherever they wanted, and most of them didn’t have to take any medications. It seemed like they took their health for granted. I had to work hard just to be even slightly caught up in my daily responsibilities because I was constantly fatigued. I envied how easy it seemed for them. I kept this thought pattern up for years.
I knew I wasn’t the only one who felt this way. I had friends who I knew wished they could have perfect health. We tried to keep up with the others around us. Whether it was eating foods we shouldn’t have or not taking a medication in front of people so they wouldn’t look at us weirdly. We thought that our restrictions hindered us from doing what we were supposed to.
I’ve been upset with myself because I haven’t met many milestones. The world tells us that we have to meet certain milestones at a certain age. I have let this pressure me for a long time. Every time a school year ends, I’ve found myself thinking about if I hadn’t gotten sick as much that I could be done and doing the things they were doing. I’ll admit, when people ask if I have my drivers’ permit I feel slightly embarrassed that my answer is “no”.
Recently God told me something that He has said a lot. This time when He spoke, it hit me hard. He said that I’m not behind in life and neither are my friends. We are right where He wants us to be!! I don’t have to compare myself to others! I don’t have to wear myself out working to keep up with the people around me! I’m not behind in life because of my health!! God made me this way for a special, unique, and important purpose!!
And guess what?? He made you that way too!! You don’t have to try to keep up with everyone else!! God has a plan for you, He made you the way you are on purpose! He understands everything you are going through or have gone through! And since this is true, that means that you aren’t behind in life! He’s not upset if you haven’t achieved something at the same time as everyone else. You are a masterpiece that He hand crafted beautifully! Don’t worry about other people’s timeline. God’s plan and timing is perfect!
“For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb. I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well. My frame was not hidden from You, When I was made in secret, And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, The days fashioned for me, When as yet there were none of them. How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How great is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand; When I awake, I am still with You.”
Psalm 139:13-18 (NKJV)
Lori Ann Nelson
Guest Writer
Lori Ann Nelson is a Texas native who enjoys photography, the great outdoors, and hanging out with friends and family. She has asthma as well as multiple food sensitivities. On an average day you can find her reading a good book or writing short pieces on various subjects.
