Being an author can be a very lonely business. You do all your work in a notebook or on your laptop, holed up in your own brain. Some writers prefer to write in total silence. Some writers prefer to write in coffee shops or parks or in the living room of a loud family. 

Either way, we spend a lot of time alone or in our own heads. We make friends with our colleagues, but our colleagues generally aren’t in the same town. They live all over the world. They’re writers and editors and creatives who also spend all their time buried in notebooks or graphic design programs or The Chicago Manuel of Style. 

When we finally venture out into society and make friends, it can be hard to help people understand our work. 

When I see a friend at the end of a day and they ask how my day was, I never know what to say. It really shouldn’t be that complicated. The intricacies of my writing responsibilities are no different than anyone else’s. But what I do changes every single day. And the things I did that day for my writing are known only to me. I didn’t share the experience with my coworkers. For all everyone knows, I watched YouTube videos all day.  Being an author or a writer means so much behind the scenes work no one sees.

Anyway. If you have a friend who is a writer, let me give you a glimpse into how these mysterious creatures work. There are a few simple ways you can love them that make a huge impact on this often misunderstood and overlooked group of people.

1. Get them out of the house

Writers — and most creatives, really — can get so engrossed in their work that they neglect to do things like eat or sleep or leave the house. But despite their protests, it’s important to coax them out of the house every now and then for an adventure. 

Or just a change of scenery and a conversation with someone other than themselves. These things help prevent burnout and provide them with a well of inspiration.

2. Celebrate their milestones

Milestones like hitting 10k or 50k words in a work-in-progress might seem vague or unimportant, but they’re not. Each of those words took incredible effort and courage to force onto the page. Celebrate those milestones! Celebrate when they write a super difficult scene. Celebrate a blogiversary. Celebrate their “writing birthday.” Celebrate their book birthday. Celebrate them finishing round five of edits. Celebrate their cover reveal.

Writers can tend to brush past their milestones in their excitement to reach the next one. But don’t let them do that! It’s important for them to celebrate so that their motivation won’t flag and they will stay encouraged in between milestones. Take them out for coffee. Buy them a book or notebook. Send them celebratory memes.

Even if you don’t understand the milestone. I know many non-writers reading this have no idea what a “blogiversary” even is. And that’s okay! Really, all your author friend needs is some excitement and cheering. And maybe some ice cream.

3. Treat their writing like a real job

This means respecting the time they’ve set aside for writing, editing, marketing, and platforming. To you, it might just look like they are scrolling through social media, but in reality, they’re networking and marketing and connecting with new prospective readers who will buy their books.

When they’re staring off into space, they might be constructing a world in their mind before they put it on paper. When they’re reading, they’re doing research and learning about how to write a good book — even if it’s a random fictional book. When they’re going on walks, they’re clearing their head and brainstorming how to fix the gap in their book and maintaining their sanity.

Writing is a real job. Being an author is a real job. Not a hobby. Not a side project. Not a vague dream. For some people, it is those things. But your author friend needs you to treat their writing and their books like it’s a real job, worth attention, time, sweat, and discipline. 

4. Read their writing and comment on it

I don’t expect many people in my circles to read my book or blog. After all, I write in a very small, specific niche (about faith in chronic illness) and that honestly doesn’t apply to the majority of my friends and family and family friends and friend’s family. 

But when those people do read my writing of their own volition (not with excessive nagging from me), it means so much. I’m sorry, but if you’re not one of my readers and you read my writing, you get extra brownie points. Even more impactful is to comment on a specific part of it you liked or to mention in passing that you read it. Commenting directly on the post or in real life both count. 😉 

I mean, you took the time to read it — why not get credit for it? Sides, we won’t be encouraged by you reading it if we don’t know you read it in the first place.

5. Support, engage with, and promote their platform

This seems pretty obvious, but it’s not that hard to do. Chances are there is someone in your circles who would be interested in your author friend’s book. One of the most powerful ways books are sold is grass-roots through word of mouth. You have a powerful opportunity to help your friend sell books and share the message God has put on their heart.

Easy but impactful ways you can do this is to post about their book/writing on social media, liking and commenting on their posts on social media, signing up for their email lists, and leaving reviews on Amazon and Goodreads.

Reviews are said to be “worth their weight of gold.” That is, if they had any physical weight. But reviews help readers find our books. They help them figure out if the book is for them and they help with things like Amazon algorithms. Once you hit a certain number of reviews on Amazon, your book gets in front of many more eyes. Even just two words — “great book!” count.

Besides, we pour out hearts into our books . . . hearing that someone we care about liked it means so much to us, making us feel loved and like our work is making a difference.

6. Listen to them brainstorm — you don’t even have to talk

If a writer opens up about their work-in-progress (also known as a WIP), be careful! You’ve been trusted with a rare glimpse of the early stages of their book, when the book and idea is still fragile and in need of fleshing out.

Be extremely encouraging, and don’t be afraid to gently offer your thoughts! A seasoned writer will be able to reject your ideas confidently (with grace) and accept the ones they like. Even if they don’t end up using your ideas, it might spark other ideas, which are hugely valuable. 

Also, often, just letting a writer talk will help them figure out the plot hole or missing element. You often don’t even have to say anything! If you don’t follow it all either, that’s okay. Ask questions! Ask why, what, how, and when. Avoid glazed eyes, ask questions, and cherish the fact that you’ve been trusted with such a vulnerable piece of their project.

Well, six is all we have room for today. (If you want more, I have five more up my sleeve that *could* be made into a part two of this post. ;)) 

Good luck in loving your author friends! Authors are odd creatures, but loving them really isn’t that complicated or difficult, and the littlest things make the biggest impact.