Clarissa is one of our Diamonds 2022 speakers, I’m so excited to be sharing this guest post from her today. If you have registered for Diamonds 2022 for free yet, make sure you do so here!
“God has a purpose for not healing me,” Dad had said. “Maybe to keep me humble or some purpose we do not know.”
For more than a decade, my dad has been living with a rare autoimmune disease called CIDP. His words were mentioned during a point in my family’s lives when we eventually stopped praying for healing. I felt grieved and guilty for not praying for God’s healing anymore, but what my dad had said was stamped into my heart.
I believed his words were true.
Years after my family stopped praying for healing, I unexpectedly found myself with chronic health conditions that have changed my lifestyle. On top of that, trials kept flowing into my life one after another seemingly without a pause. During these past two years, I have faced a friend’s passing, CPTSD, chronic health conditions, PTSD from a toxic work supervisor, and double infections that landed me in the hospital.
However, because of what I’ve learned from my dad, I’ve prayed that God’s will be done – whether it be healing or living the rest of my life both physically and mentally sick.
Do I still hope for healing? Yes. At the same time, learning to acknowledge that my health has been in Christ’s hands has drawn me closer to Him. Jesus has lifted my head to Him whenever I found myself struggling to look up and away from my struggles (Psalm 3:3).
Do I long for a life without sickness? Yes. At the same time, if I were to pick a different path, I would choose the one God has placed me in. Because as each moment and day passes, both good and bad seasons, Christ has been the same even during times when I’m not focused on Him. When I breathe to a new day of either struggles or accomplishments, He reminds me of Who He is instead of who I am.
And to my delight, the sweet taste of loving Jesus grew throughout all of the seasons. My prayer is that your love for Him will grow too.
“Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need.” Philippians 4:11-12 KJV
Clarissa Choo
Guest Writer
Clarissa Choo is a vessel used for Christ’s glory. Although she has lived in four countries, Jesus is her only Home. She desires to love Him and sow His seeds. Besides writing, she loves to wash dishes, chop ingredients into smithereens, and record music. Hop aboard her train at Riding in Truth or @ClarissaChooWriter.
