And as we wait in the in-betweens, there are so many unknowns. So many hard things. So much confusion and wonder and stress. I get it. I’ve been there. I am there.
It’s exhausting.
Today, friend, I want to come alongside you with some truth for your weary heart.
1. You are not alone in the waiting.
So often, the in-between is lonely. It can seem like everyone else is on one side or another, and with clear labels comes community with people who are in the same boat.
But in the “not quite here but not quite there either”, no one is in the same boat. No one seems to relate, and with that comes insecurity. It’s a vicious cycle.
But warrior, let me speak some truth to you right now. You are not alone, for two reasons.
First, you’re not the only person in the in-between. You’re not the only one without a diagnosis. You’re not the only one who feels like an eighty year old and a toddler at the same time. You’re not the only one to walk through all these tensions. There are others. I’m on. The hundreds of Diamonds conference attendees are others. As are the millions of chronically ill Americans.
Of course, we are each unique people who experience challenges differently. But regardless, even if no one else in the world understood what you were going through, feeling, and thinking, you still wouldn’t be alone. We have a God whose compassion means that He not only feels, but He enters into our pain.
He gets it. And more than that, He does not walk away. It is never too long of a season for Him. It is never too much for Him. It is never too confusing for Him. Isn’t that incredible?
2. In-betweens are not the enemy.
Infact, in-between seasons are a gift. Ugh, honestly it still hurts to write that. I’m in an in-between season right now, and it is so easy to become frustrated, or even bitter. It is easy to think that this is something simply to get through.
But I’ve come to learn — and am continuing to learn — that these in-between seasons are a gift. Through them, we get to draw near to God in a new way. We get to grow. We get to glorify God by trusting Him. And we even get a chance to build up our foundations and shore up our weak spots.
A time of waiting is a gift in that we’re not immediately under the pressure of the next season. If we steward our time and our pain well, this could even help prepare us to experience the next season in an even better way.
It is a long fight, and it may take time for you to see it as a treasure. Even when you do, you may need to return to that again and again. But it is and I am choosing to stand in that truth. Will you join me?
“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. “ James 1:2-4 (NIV)
3. The tensions go together.
If you think of the things you are in-between it can feel like you are being pulled in two different directions. It is anything but comfortable.
If we think about hope and grieving, it can seem impossible to do both at the same time. How can you experience such sorrow and lost and heartbreak and still be joyful and hopeful for good things?
Heartbreak makes me want to insulate myself, and as a friend put it recently, “If I don’t hope, I won’t be disappointed.” But I want a breakable heart. Accepting how things are through grief is a step to getting towards hoping for the things to come.
Dreaming and grieving go hand in hand. Hope and sorrow as well. Life is a tension, in so many ways. We crave a formula, we crave one extreme or another, but God made us beautifully complex, and He Himself is beautifully complex.
This doesn’t make the tension easy, but I hope it can give you permission to feel and live those tensions simultaneously. It’s okay to be happy and grieve. It is okay to grieve even when you have hope. They do not exclude each other.
4. Your life is not on pause in the unknowns.
Waiting does not mean your life is on pause. We can tend to think that if we just had this or just knew this or were just in this place in life, then things would be under control and we could move forward.
If we had this, then we can pursue our dreams and invest in our relationships and do what God has called us to do. But that is not how it works. Your life goes on. Being chronically ill meant that I had to take a break on school. But my life continued. Being sick meant that I couldn’t volunteer at church or go on the mission field like I wanted to. But that didn’t mean that I stopped serving God.
I got to sit and ask God what He had for me in this season of in-between. We are waiting on God, but we are not waiting around for our lives to start. Waiting seasons feel like they last forever but in the grand scheme of things, this precious time in this place is short and limited.
Warrior, I know it is hard. I sobbed on my floor this week because I’m wrestling with an in-between in my own life. But let’s hold onto truth together.
And friend, in case you missed it, on June 24th-25th, I am hosting an online conference for Christians with health challenges on the theme of Dreaming and Grieving. I am going to be teaching a session on this very topic of having faith and hope in the in-betweens, and I hope to see you there.
It is FREE to attend live, so make sure to register asap!