I so long to go to church. I miss the fellowship, I miss real worship with real people and real instruments. But at this point in my life if I went to church I would end up very sick… maybe even for days following those two hours on Sunday. I know this because I have tried. Repeatedly.

Why does this happen? Church is so difficult for me in multiple ways. For one, something like seventy percent of buildings are water damaged and have mold, which makes me sick. If the building itself happens to be ‘mold safe’ however, there are often air fresheners being used or VOC filled carpet, paint, etc.. Say we figure all of that out, and we’re still left with the most difficult thing of all and the very reason we want to go to church in the first place: the people.

It’s inescapable! Sunday mornings are the days that everyone wants to look their best… and apparently smell their best too. Everyone appears in church on Sunday mornings squeaky clean with lathered on hairspray, cologne, perfume, or even just toxic (to me) shampoo.

Going to church only to spend the next two or three days in bed… that isn’t life! If letting yourself be exposed to mold every week is going to delay your healing by years, then don’t let yourself be exposed! You can serve God and the church better in the long run by allowing yourself the time to heal. (Not that you can’t serve God wonderfully right where you are!)

For each person with a chronic illness, be it MCS (Multiple Chemical Sensitivity, mold, or something else, it’s slightly different. Some people can handle other things better than others, or sometimes it’s different things… maybe you simply don’t have enough spoons (energy), or maybe you have sensory overload and can’t handle the crowds of people or the noise of worship.

It’s hard. It’s so hard. All Christians need to be fed, all Christians need fellowship- we weren’t created to be alone! And for those with a trial like chronic illness, we need the support of our brothers and sisters in Christ even more than usual! Hebrews 10:24-25 says:

And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

Just because we’re sick and unable to go to church doesn’t mean we don’t need church. We do. We just are going to have to be a little more creative about it than most people.

To be completely honest with you, I don’t currently attend church. At least, not in the ordinary sense. While my family and I can’t go to church we still have church together in our living room as a family. Sometimes my dad preaches, but most Sundays we watch an online sermon from some of our favorite pastors (suggested sermons here). None of us are very musical, so we use YouTube or Itunes for worship. It works for us. We are still getting to worship God and be spiritually fed. As for fellowship and accountability, we’re also learning to get that from elsewhere as well. You don’t only have to meet with other Christians at church on Sundays. 🙂 There are lots of other options. Another thing you could do is a homechurch with a few other families, we’ve done that in the past before as well and it was great.

Another idea is that if a church is almost perfect, but that has something that is fixable, like air fresheners, then don’t be shy in asking if they wouldn’t mind accommodating you by taking them out. They may not understand completely, but it doesn’t hurt to ask nicely. Or maybe you just need to be away from the people and noise… is it possible to sit in the balcony or in the back? Or maybe in another room that can still see in? I know that some churches show what’s going on in the main room on screens in the lobby or something. Maybe you need a special chair to be able to deal with physical pain- arrange it! Again, be creative! If you can’t go, then accept that you can’t go. But don’t just give up either.

I do still long to go to church in the traditional sense… but this is where God has us right now, and that’s okay. 🙂 You also don’t have to feel guilty about doing church in a different way than you have in the past. That’s okay. 🙂

Author’s Note: Maybe you are reading this and you are not personally sick. If you are privileged to go to church, then thank God! Get involved where you are are don’t take it for granted. Also, I implore you to keep in mind your brothers and sisters in Christ who are not able to go to church for whatever reason. Many of us are lonely and long for your fellowship. Please be sensitive to our restrictions, but it will mean a lot to us if you will allow us to be as iron sharpening iron with you.